Dare I Tell?
by fruitcake gurl
Summary: Lily really likes James, but doesnt ever think he could like her. One day he starts being abnormally nice to her, she's really happy, ect. Then she realises James is only using her...My very first fic, probably isnt any good, but please try to review an
1. Daydream Come True

When Lily first met James, he was wet. They had been crossing the lake, coming to Hogwarts for the first time, and it was pouring rain. James had gotten soaked, splashing in puddles and things. Well, now Lily was wet. Figuratively, of course. James had just smiled at her. He had looked at her, and smiled, his eyes lighting up, bright and eager, and Lily had just melted. She was now a puddle at his feet. Lily was actually ashamed of being a James puddle. She knew it was useless. James Potter would never like her; he probably was chasing after one of the prettier, more popular girls. And Lily couldn't tell anyone that she liked James. Not anyone, even her best friend Shaylyn. All her friends thought James Potter was a "Stupid, obnoxious, full-of-himself little asshole" They liked to voice this opinion a little too loud as James and his fan club of admiring girls walked past. Lily's friends were great friends, though, and they wouldn't be mad at her or anything fro liking him. They'd just say "How can you like that perverted, unintelligent jerk?" They'd say she was too good for him. James probably thought he was too good for Lily. He hated all her friends, shouldn't he hate her too? But Lily kept hoping that James might like her. Maybe. Besides, thought Lily, what's the harm in hoping? There's no danger in dreaming. If I can't actually have James, I might as well have him in my dreams. Last night, she had been thinking of James, a favorite topic of hers. She'd made a list of the things she liked about him  
  
What I Like About James Potter  
  
-the way he laughs -the way he taps his quill on the desk when he's bored -he plays quidditch and is the star of the team -the way he smiles with his friends -the ways his forehead wrinkles up when he's concentrating -the way he stands up for his friends -the way he apologizes when he's done something wrong  
  
"Oh Lily, shut up. You're being such a ditz. Soon you're going to begin writing "Mrs. Lily Potter" all over your notebooks," Lily thought after making this list, "Actually, now that I think about it, Lily Potter doesn't sound so bad. Lily Potter. Lily Potter. I like it."  
  
"Hi Lily," said James. Lily looked once more into his smiling face. Now she had one more thing to add to her list.  
  
What I Like About James Potter  
  
-the way he smiles at me 


	2. Seeing the Light

A/N:  Yes, well, here is the 2nd chapter.  It is not the best chapter I have ever written, but it will do.  I know it took me forever to write it, and I'm sorry.  I had tons of stuff to do (exams L) but I managed to do it.  And I've already written the 3rd chapter, so, it won't take long to get that one posted.  I refuse to blackmail you by saying that I won't post it until you review this chapter, but let's just say that I would be more likely to post it sooner if you review!!  Thanks to the people who reviewed my last chapter…it made me very happy!!  Oh, and a note to occupationbwitch: the 1st chapter was not based off my life.  This chapter is the one I based off my life.  So please don't bother to send a list of similarities between my life and my fic because it will be extremely long.   

Seeing the Light 

            Lily woke up the next morning and walked quite normally into the bathroom. Lily's roommates thought it was weird that she was fully awake as soon as she woke up.  They wandered around brainlessly for at least half an hour when they woke up, and right now they were still asleep.

            Lily glance in the mirror, and wasn't happy with her reflection.

            "You look a bit off this morning, dear, maybe you…" The mirror said.  It was cut off as Lily quickly rushed to another mirror.  She wasn't fond of the few talking mirrors that they had at Hogwarts.  She knew she didn't look perfect, and she didn't need an obnoxious mirror listing her flaws all the time to tell her this.  The mirror was right, though; she did look a bit off.   She had been feeling kind of uneasy this morning, like she was on the edge of a cliff, and soon her fate would be decided.

            Suddenly she remembered that she had transfiguration first thing this morning, and she hadn't done the homework.  She threw her robes on while hurriedly brushing her red hair with her fingers.

            "Bye, Shay!" she said before rushing out of the dormitory.  She arrived at the great hall, sat down, drank some pumpkin juice and ate about 2 bites of cereal.  Then she ran straight back up to the common room and sat down to do her transfiguration essay.

            "Lily!  I've been looking for you!" said James.  "I was wondering if you could help me with my charms homework."

            Lily glanced down at her unwritten essay.  "Well, I dunno James.  I kind of need to…"

            "Please, Lily, I really need your help."

            _He looks really cute today…_

"Oh, ok," sighed Lily.  She sat down next to James on the couch and began explaining to him the correct wrist movement to use when you are bewitching a non-living object to behave like a living one.

            Lily guiltily handed her hastily written essay to Professor McGonagall.  It was only about 3 sentences long.  Professor Mc.Gonagall glanced at it.

            "Miss Evans, I shall need to see you after class about your essay, or lack of one," she said haughtily.

            "Yes, professor," replied Lily.  As she was staring unhappily at her desk, she didn't see James curse himself silently behind her and look guiltily at his complete charms homework.

            "Lily," said James, "I'm s- -uh, I, um, could you hand me my quill?  I seem to have dropped it."

            "Sure," said Lily, picking up James's quill and giving him a sweet smile.  _Wow, he's actually speaking to me now!  Maybe he doesn't hate me._

            Even Professor McGonagall's long speech on her lack of effort couldn't ruin Lily's mood.  _James actually knows I exist. I know it's practically impossible, but maybe he does like me._

"Hey, Lils, are you alright?  You look a bit, you know, out there," said Shaylyn.

            "Oh, uh, just thinking," replied Lily, with a mischievous smile on her face.

            "Daydreaming about that mystery man again, Lily?  Who is he, anyways?" asked Shaylyn.

            "Severus Snape, of course, who else?" laughed Lily.

            "Yes, I know.  He is extremely cute.  Not at all greasy."

            "Look, there he is, across the hall!" Lily pretended to faint, and Shaylyn burst out laughing.

            "Lily, are you alright?" asked James.  Shaylyn stopped laughing.

            "Do you want something, James?" asked Shaylyn, as if she certainly was not going to give him whatever it was that he wanted.

            "Oh, I just wanted to know if Lily had any eye of newt I could borrow because I lost mine," he replied.

            Lily opened her bag and felt around for a moment, then handed James a small vial, feeling extremely happy that he had seemed concerned about her health.

            That night, Lily lay awake in bed thinking of James.

It's so much fun to talk to him.  Well, we haven't really talked much.  In fact, he's only really spoken to me when he wants something.  But that one time he seemed concerned and asked if I was alright.  Right after that he asked me for the eye of newt, though.  Oh my god, all he does is ask for things!  Maybe he's just using me.  After all, for years he's hated you and your friends, and you and your friends have hated him back.  Why should now be any different?

She stared at the darkness all around her.  She thought that I might as well have been this dark when she was talking to James all day.  She couldn't see what he was really doing anyways.  She couldn't see that he was just leading her on, using her.  She should've known it was too good to be true.  Now she was really seeing the light.


	3. Don't Ever Let Me Go

Lily walked briskly through the corridor, determined not to speak to anyone at all on her way to the great hall.

            "Uh, Lily, can I speak to you for a moment?" said a Ravenclaw 4th year named Brandon Malexus from behind her.  Drat.  Her plan ruined.  She sighed and turned around.

            "Yes," she said, trying to sound annoyed, but not too rude at the same time.

            "Uh, you know, I was wondering if, uh, if you might want to go out with me, umm, sometime," he said.  He seemed to be afraid to look directly at her, instead he looked at his feet, then the staircase on the left, then the ceiling, until she interrupted his random-object-gazing by saying

            "Well, no."  She was not in the mood for sugar-coating any answers.  She simply did not want to go out with him.

            "Don't feel bad, Brandon," said James, walking arrogantly up to them, "Lily wouldn't say yes if the most famous, richest wizard in the world asked her out, she obviously doesn't think anyone's good enough for her."

            "That's not true!" retorted Lily.

            "You're right, of course, you think everyone is good enough for you," said James, looking her coolly in the eye, "You're just afraid.  Afraid to say yes, afraid to kiss a guy even if you really want to."

            Lily stood up on her tip-toes and kissed him, right on the lips.  She held her lips there a moment longer, lingering in his sweet scent.  It felt so good to be this close to him.  She pulled back, turned on her heel, and walked away.   She had spoken to two people, and she wasn't even half way to the great hall yet.  This was not a good day.

            That night, instead of hanging out in the common room, Lily went straight to her dorm.  Just as she was about to curl up in bed, drown her sorrows in the darkness, Shaylyn walked in.

            "Lily?  Is everything ok?" she asked, concerned.

            "Oh, um, I'm just a little stressed with that 8-foot-long essay from McGonagall, that's all.  I think I'm gonna go….somewhere, and take a walk…or something."

            "Alright," said Shaylyn.

_Is there nowhere I can go in this stupid castle and be alone?  Stuff would probably be better if I could think without Shaylyn or James interrupting me all the time.  Why are they all in my business anyways?_ Thought Lily.

            She got to the lake.  She peered into it.  The castle was reflected on its shimmering surface in all its glory, but there were depths of water beneath the glassy surface, depths you could almost see, but as soon as you got close your eyes would jump back and see the glittering reflection of the castle again, just screaming for you to stare at it.

            Then James walked up behind her, she could see him in the lake.  She quickly turned around.

            "Lily, I think we…" he said.

            Lily couldn't help herself.  She put her arms around his neck and kissed him (again).  He looked so cute, his cheeks red from the cold and his sweet caring eyes looking right at her.  She suddenly pushed him away and ran as fast as she could, running from her embarrassment.  How could she have been so stupid?  She was gasping for breath, the cold air stinging her throat, so she threw herself into the snow, her tears nearly freezing as they ran down her cheeks.

            "Lily, wait, don't run away from me!" He ran after her and easily lifted her to her feet.  He wrapped his arms around her and she realized that he was like the lake, with depths and deceptions and tricks of they light.  But with him, Lily wasn't fooled by his shining surface, she could see straight into his heart, and she realized that she really did love him.

            "I love you, James," she whispered.

            "I love you too, Lily, I have always loved you and I have waited so long to hold you."

            "Don't ever let me go."


End file.
